Bitcoin & the Believers

For the true believers, where Bitcoin stops being an investment and becomes the whole personality

1. It’s called Bitcoin

Cheaper than therapy, and the only side effect is checking the price 200 times a day.

2. There’s been a slight misunderstanding

Every argument somehow ends with me buying more.

3. You can’t save everybody

Sometimes you gotta leave the people you love behind for Bitcoin.

4. There's genuinely nothing else up there

Ask what's on my mind and the honest answer is when the next Bitcoin pump is.

5. What a beautiful day to not hear that

Doubt that crypto is the future one more time and watch yourself disappear from the passenger seat.

6. Someone tried to mug a Bitcoin ATM

Full marks for effort, but that is not even slightly how any of this works.

Haters, the Government & Wall Street

For the no-coiners still waiting on the crash, and the suits who called it a scam right up until they wanted in.

7. They've been waiting for the crash since $200

Every cycle the no-coiners press their face to the glass, and every cycle it hurts them more.

8. Still on chapter one

Peter's been writing this book for fifteen years and Bitcoin hasn't read a word of it.

9. Crystal clear, still can't see a thing

They named it the Clarity Act and somehow everyone walked away more confused.

10. Taking the Fed to small claims court

The rate hike dumped our dog coin and now we want answers.

11. Wallstreet can’t stop staring

Wall Street spent a decade calling it a scam and now it can't sit still next to it.

12. 400 hours of TA vs one tweet

You can study every indicator ever made. It still loses to a man posting random words.

13. For everyone's sake, keep him quiet

The single most bullish thing that can happen to your bag is Jim Cramer never mentioning it.

Buying the Dip & Getting Liquidated

Every dip is a buying opportunity, right up until the one that takes the whole account.

14. Not like that…

You ask the chart to do something and it always picks the one direction you didn't mean.

15. Never back down, never what?

The whole market's on fire but the buy signal still hasn't flashed, so we wait.

16. The decision is simple

Sell at a loss or hold to zero. Pick your favorite way to lose.

17. “Buy the dip” they said

Everyone's a genius on the way down until the fourth dip clears out the account.

18. Crypto bros with their last $1000

Nothing focuses the mind like putting your last grand on a red candle.

19. Career trader, five-minute career

9:15 we begin trading. 9:20 it's over. Efficient, at least.

20. We don't say broke, we say pre-raise

Got liquidated is the plain version. Seeking capital is the one you tell LinkedIn.

21. It waits for you to sell, then it flies

Chop sideways for months, then rocket 175% the day after you give up. Happens every time without fail.

22. Ignore the crocodile, there's a dip

Even while being eaten there’s still time to reach the buy button. No excuses.

23. Aliens? fine. Margin call? terror.

You could probably survive an invasion. Another liquidation not so much..

My “Trading Strategy”

All the charts and indicators in the world, and a plan that still ends at the bottom.

24. Simple napkin math

Buy, never sell, buy more at the top, then sell at the exact bottom. Foolproof.

25. Why stop at 2x?

The hand offers a safe double. But you never know if it’ll suddenly 100x so we wait.

26. A tale as old as time

Hold winning trades was right there. Traders took the other lane, as always.

27. Folded under 0 pressure

ETH dips 4% and suddenly you've got the reflexes of a fighter jet.

28. Poor risk management, irresistible to new traders

Every beginner gets walked out the door by the same bad habit.

29. Technical analysis is going great

Drew a dinosaur on the chart and concluded ALGO is about to recover. Bullish.

30. Just take the praise

They praise you for holding through everything. You just can't get into the account.

Down Bad: Losses & Cope

Where every loss becomes a long-term hold and nothing's final until you sell.

31. a 5% pump after a 50% dip, we're healing

The bags are still destroyed but the group hug is warm.

32. Grounds for divorce

It's a revolutionary cryptocurrency is a sentence that has ended marriages.

33. No wonder he wants $10k

Lesson learned: never attach your ledger to your other keys

34. Losing $100 vs $1000

Drop a bill on the street and it stings. Lose four figures on a dog coin and it is what it is.

35. Crypto bros being dramatic

A small dip is a crisis. A massive gain barely registers. The wiring is broken.

36. It’s not as good as it looks

Everyone sees the wins I post. Nobody sees the part underwater.

37. Broke but better broke

Ten years in and the net worth just added commas to nothing.

38. Me after getting rug pulled once

Got pulled a single time and became the guy protesting NFTs on the sidewalk.

39. My precious little green candle

Down 70% overall but clinging to that +15% like it's the ring.

40. From money wallpaper to loose change

The lifestyle downgraded a little between the last cycle and this one.

41. Crypto can definitely make you a millionaire

Crypto has a proven record of turning big fortunes into slightly smaller ones.

42. It’s gonna be a lot, right?

Woke up expecting generational wealth. The nurse's face says otherwise.

43. Things can change quickly

Pack your stuff, son. The chart and the house are both gone.

All In: Crypto vs Rent, Food & Salary

What happens when the buy button gets to your rent money.

44. The wallet vs the bank account

One of these is doing all the heavy lifting, and it isn't the checking account.

45. A fortune for crypto, pennies for food

The grocery budget and the buy budget were never going to be close.

46. The paycheck never stood a chance

Your salary lands and crypto is already chasing it down the hallway.

47. On my way to blow the paycheck again

Payday, and the whole thing's already earmarked for a coin I haven't researched.

48. Put it all in, this is the room i live in now

Everything went into crypto, including the money for furniture.

Life as a Crypto Trader

No sleep, no small talk that isn't crypto, and a phone that never stops buzzing.

49. This guy's a bitcoin expert, nobody cares

You could explain the halving for an hour. The table has already moved on.

50. Family can’t stop bitcoin

Ask about the weather and I'll find a way to make it about the four-year cycle.

51. Watch your mouth

The boss asks why I'm late and suddenly the day job feels optional.

52. First day sharp, three years feral

Nobody comes out of a few cycles looking the way they went in.

53. How times have changed

Traded Netflix and Instagram for DEX Screener and a face full of bandages.

54. Down 32%, first time?

The veterans don't flinch at a red candle anymore. They've seen things.

55. Crypto is definitely not stressful

Perfectly calm, perfectly fine, aged about forty years since January.

56. Three degens recognizing each other

You can spot the look across a room. The eyes have seen the 4am charts.

57. Addicted to the trade

Six monitors at 2am and not a single position that needs watching this badly.

58. Whale mentality

The portfolio is smaller than lunch but the posture says hedge fund.

59. Crypto investors vs others

Every other investor gets a good night. The crypto one is curled up bracing for the end.

60. Crypto Twitter behavior

A narrative spreads like wildfire the second the price agrees with it.

61. One treats you better than the others

Now we know why people are addicted to the casino.

62. iPhone duo is great

Now I can watch my losses AND apply to McDonalds at the same time.

63. Browsing history vs trading history

Parents could handle the search bar. The trade log is where it gets dark.

64. Don’t talk to me

Turns out the fastest way to end a work conversation is by flexing on them.

65. Can’t get away from crypto

You finally lie down and the chart drags you right back up.

66. Money, girls, fame, and a pie chart of none

The legend promises everything. The chart delivers a completely different set of nothing.

67. An easy choice

She asked him to choose and he did not hesitate.

68. Oh thank god, just the bank account

Panic for a second, then pure relief. There was never anything in there worth stealing anyway.

Green, Green, Green

What a single green candle does to a grown man.

69. The endless cycle

The full emotional cycle, start to finish, every fifteen minutes.

70. Crypto being a little suspicious

When the market's kind for a week straight, you start bracing for the drawback.

71. Crying at a green candle in public

They think it's happy news. It is, technically. That's why the tears.

72. When the market receives good news

A single green headline and the whole city lights up like a signal flare.

73. Green is all men need

Ask if men have feelings, then show him the candle going up. It's beautiful.

74. Pupils dilate at whatever you love

Science says it happens when you look at something you love. The chart proves it.

75. $25 in, $8 profit, book the Lambo

Technically green, technically winning, technically leaning on someone else's car.